There is a girl on Facebook that is, for me and a friend, constant fodder for work day giggles. It sounds callous, but we click on her profile from time to time just to have a bit of a laugh. She’s one of those who uses Facebook as a kind of ongoing high school yearbook, leaving and receiving a steady stream of adoring messages for n from friends, lovers, and of course, bffers.
She’s around my age and went to my high school, a small Quaker school on the border between Philadelphia proper and the suburbs. The school was private but not uppity, the kind of place so obsessed with acceptance that we had near daily discussions about whether we should be more tolerant of the intolerant among us.
I remember that my parents decided to send me there because during the week of thanksgiving, when we were doing out visits, every other school was making turkeys out of paper plates, and mine put on a play about how the pilgrims pillaged the native Americans. It was a no brainer for my lefty folks.
Anyway, this girl had a bit of a rough time there, of the class a narcotics variety, and I sort of lost track of her. She was younger than me and I’m not even sure if she made it to graduation.
At some point we had become Facebook friends — millenials are as millenials do. Facebook, the great connector, the most direct line to your previous lives and breathtaking reminder of how much you’ve changed — or not.
The most delicious nugget on this woman’s wall is that, if you space your visits just so, you can be sure that she’s found a new boyfriend since the last time you peeked. One month she’ll be going on and on about how she lovessss the most gourgeous manz in this fuckkkking universe lol really tho like love u babyyy ur my soulmate its not even funny i miss u so much right now i am actually dying. DYING for real AHHHHH idgafffff what the haters say! you’re mine and i’m yours ughhh where ru babeee.
then, four months later, it’s a new boy. who has a profile name that sounds like a low level hype man and a real name that’s like tyler brooks or worse.
the point is, she falls in love all the time. This is clearly hilarious, not least of all because her wall teaches me internet abbreviations that deserve their own snl skit. Things like ULM (u love me) or TARFU (things are rully fucked up) or CDFU (cracking da fuck up).
But on the subway home from a long friday at work, I started to get a little sentimental about the whole thing. Sure, maybe I was listening to a little too much James Blake, and rehashing my own feelings about missed opportunities and unconsummated connections, but I had this moment where my head kinda did a fist pump for my facebook friend. She’s just out there, eagerly loving whoever comes by, and admitting it on facebook… Facebook. it sounds almost old fashioned. You’d think she’d tweet sepia toned instagrams of their champagne glasses with a champagne glass emoticon, but no. She’s there on good old facebook, loving a new boyfriend every time the season turns.
Go on and do you, facebook girl. Love and be loved and actuallyyyy FREAK OUT about it bc TARFU out there in the world, and UBGURS (u better get urs, which i may have just made up or may already exist).